During the last of this year's summer months I was lucky enough to be a guest of several different hosts, and it got me thinking about the fact that hosting well is an art.
For three nights in late August, my eldest sister and I were the guests of Westminster Abbey in Mission. My sister had been invited to spend some time volunteering in the abbey kitchen with some aquaintances of hers whose son who is a monk there, and also head of the kitchen. The couple goes regulary to help in the kitchen during peak periods of processing the abbey's garden produce and bulk cooking in preparation for the upcoming school year at the seminary there. My sister asked if I would like to accompany her, and I jumped at the chance. The abbey is not only one of the most beautiful settings for a mini-break, but I was also super curious about what it would be like to stay and work there. Westminster Abbey (a Benedictine monastery) has a motto when it comes to hosting guests: they aim to treat each guest as if they were Jesus himself. That's a tall order, but I can honestly say, they manage it well. The abbey has an entire building dedicated to guests with single rooms, double rooms, and family suites. Our fellow guests included a lovely family of five on holiday from Victoria, two women on a self-guided retreat, the couple who had invited us, and my sister and me. My sister and I were suprised to learn that we each got our own simple, but clean and tidy single room complete with bathroom, a desk and chair, a single bed, and an amazing view out the window. There was no air conditioning - not sure what Jesus would think of that - but it being late August, and the abbey on a hilltop, we were cool enough at night (and above the forest fire smoke in the valley!). We rose fairly early on each of the three mornings as we wanted to attend the morning sung prayers in the beautiful church with the stunning stained glass windows in the ceiling, but no matter how early we rose there was always a monk or two who had already been up for a couple of hours walking around the gardens in the grey light of dawn. Breakfast was served promptly at 7:20 a.m. and was simple but good fare - cereal, eggs, some kind of smoothie, toast, and strong, delicious coffee for which I was extremely grateful. Our last morning we feasted on cinnamon buns donated by Cobb's bakery. A real treat. We worked all morning and then broke for a very hearty noon meal made from the produce of the abbey farm. We had rest time until 1:30 and then work again until 3:30. After our shift, we wandered around the gardens, walked to the lookout which has a panoramic view of the river valley below, and sat in the shade under the trees, enjoying the peace until another tasty and healthy meal was served. Not a bad schedule at all. The kitchen work was fun and the paid staff lovely and kind. The monks eat in silence and seperately from the guests, although one monk would be assigned to eat and chat with us each meal. Being a guest there was one of the most relaxing and lovely experiences I've had. Yes, we worked for a few hours a day, but that added to the enjoyment for us who enjoy a social cooking experience. I would do it again in a heartbeat.
For two weeks in September, my husband and I embarked on a two week road trip to visit family and see the sights in some beautiful places we love in Alberta and BC. We were welcomed with open arms into the homes of our sisters and brothers in Williams Lake, Gibbons, and Calgary. Our hosts cooked us delicious food, provided us with coffee in the mornings and cocktails in the afternoons, made us comfortable with soft beds and fluffy towels, and took us to some of their favourite local spots. If we were ever a burden they were gracious enough not to show it.
For the nights in between family hosts, we stayed in hotels and motels. These hosts' accommodations varied from 'thank goodness it's only for one night' to 'decent' or even 'quite nice'. Honestly, you usually get what you pay for, and we tend to look for the economical when staying only one night in a place. Whenever I stay in a motel, hotel, Airbnb or an inn, I always think about how I would run the place. Would I change anything? How would I be the best host I could be? Having been the guest of several places recently, I would a) make sure the beds were super comfortable b) make sure the room was as clean as possible and not cold c) provide an extra blanket just in case d) repair and paint the room regularly e) replace towels when they start to feel rough. To my mind those are the basics the host should provide to an honoured guest who has paid to stay at their lodging. If I were a host I would also take pointers from an Airbnb we shared with my sister and her husband for two nights in Vancouver this past June. Our hosts anticipated our every need for comfort and even provided a booklet they made of recommended spots to visit in their neighbourhood, all while being very reasonably priced for high season in Vancouver. My husband has worked in hospitality for many years, and will sometimes give an honest review for the hosts if asked. The only slightly negative thing he thought our Airbnb hosts would like to know about was how the second bedroom door squeaked loudly. Our hosts were grateful he told them and headed down after we left with some WD40, I'm sure.
Our last trip of the summer was to our daughter's in Victoria. Right off the bat she said she was aiming for a five star review. After of weekend of sightseeing, being fed gorgeous meals, and somehow being made very comfortable on an airbed, we gladly awarded her those five stars. She travels a lot and knows what guests need and enjoy, even if they are Mr. and Mrs. Her Parents.
I was also very recently at a house concert hosted by some friendly aquaintances. I received a phone call by the host to personally invite me and give directions for the evening. Once we were seated in their livingroom which held at least fifty people, our host welcomed the musicians warmly and thanked us all for coming. They provided drinks and snacks as well. The next day I received a text message thanking me for coming to the concert and enjoying myself, and I'm sure I was not the only one. I have been to a few events at our hosts' beautiful home and each time I am struck by the gift they have for making everyone feel welcome and looked after. The consummate host gives the impression that they are the lucky ones to have had you as their guest.
I try to be a good host, but I fear I am a better guest - although I am not the one to decide that. I do love to host my family and friends, but in small groupings. I am quite easily overwhelmed when faced with large groups of people to think of. I remember being a small child and feeling very stressed in Grade 3 when I had my whole class of girls over for a birthday lunch. Would they all like the cake? Would they have a good time? Would anyone feel left out? Would they be bored? That was my last big birthday party. When my youngest daughter expressed her worries about hosting her class of girls for her 7th birthday, I completely understood. We kept everyone too busy with games and activities for anyone to feel left out or bored. Afterwards, we were both exhausted, but happy everyone seemed to enjoy themselves.
'Til next time, when I might write about the art of being a good guest,
Rebecca
If you'd like to see some images of Westminster Abbey, visit their website: https://westminsterabbey.ca/
