December 10, 2012

Musing on Schooling



Sometimes I walk into a situation where someone is having a bad day and speaks before they have a chance to consider the impact of whatever is coming out of their mouth. One day not too long ago, I walked into a shop which I frequent. A mother and her daughter, who was dressed in pyjamas and a fluffy pink robe were purchasing some items at the till. I gave the little girl a knowing smile since my daughter had been similarly dressed that day for 'Pyjama Day' at the local elementary school. Every once in a while, the kids have a fun excuse to dress up in some kind of theme at school, and it had been entertaining to see so many kids and teachers similarly and ridiculously attired that morning.

When the pair had left the store and I was choosing my bunch of cilantro, I heard one of the women at the till ask the other why the girl had been in her pyjamas. The other woman suggested that perhaps the child was home schooled, therefore eliminating the need for proper clothing. The first woman practically shouted, (and remember, she works at this store) "If it were up to me I would BAN home schooling. They don't learn anything!"

I decided to tell the cashiers from my nearby position in the store that it was merely Pyjama Day at the local school. Moments later, the first cashier, looking angry, began to remove the packaging from a case of some product near to where I was choosing a can of black beans. I was this close to giving her a piece of my mind because I home schooled my children for four years. However I quelled my anger and restrained my strong desire to scold the cashier for being so narrow minded; I very rarely do give these people a piece of my mind - I usually go home and write about it instead.

Years ago, when we lived a forty five minute drive down a winding mountain road from any school, it did not make sense to drive my eldest to school for the two and a half hour daily Kindergarten class. The gas money required for the daily commute was deterrent enough and after a family friend suggested I home school, we decided to try it. For four years I taught my first three children and I still believe, to this day, that some of their later success in school could be attributed to the one-on-one they received in learning to read, to compute, to write, recite, and even to draw in their formative years. I also benefited from experiencing in an intimate way, their various styles of learning. Ian would understand a math concept before I had finished explaining it; Galen could memorize anything in record time and rarely forgot it even a month later. Emma I only had for Kindergarten, but she was never one to lag behind her brothers, and learned to read in Kindergarten from a handy book called Alphaphonics. Home schooling is certainly not for everyone, and it would not have been my first choice but for the simple logistical challenge of where we lived when our children were small; it ended up being the best of experiences for our family and brought my children and I much closer.

We made many friends in the town where we did our shopping, some of them home schooling families, some of them not. They all accepted us until one day when I said the children would be moving from the home into the one room school house at the lodge. By the end of my fourth year of teaching my children at home, there were enough school aged children at the lodge to qualify for a district funded teacher three days per week. My home schooling friends were not impressed that I would be handing my children over to the school system, but with a new baby at home, I was ready to move on, and I believe my children were, too. I explained that, while I valued the home schooling experience tremendously, my intention had always been for my children to progress to a school setting. I also knew in my heart that our days at the lodge were numbered, and the one room school option seemed like a great way to bridge the gap between home and wherever their next school would be. It was. My children had to learn to trust another adult with their education - Kim was an excellent teacher - and to accommodate and cooperate with other children in the class, even though they all knew each other like family.

When we moved here in March of 2003, and my children entered the local elementary school, I will admit there was a major adjustment period. Ian punched someone in the nose on his first day because the kid called him a 'motherf***er', and my son, not used to that sort of language in his schoolmates, took offense. (I did not hear about the incident for years, however. The very understanding principal let Ian off with a warning and did not call home.) Galen was completely overwhelmed with the behavior of the other children and begged me to keep him at home for the remainder of his grade three year (which I did most Friday afternoons), and Emma merely said, when asked how school was, "It's pretty much the same, Mommy, just louder." Over time, and with much coaching from their teachers and principal, and from us at home, the kids adjusted and even began to thrive. I will always say that while home schooling can give children an excellent academic education and an enriching family life, public school teaches them to get along with all sorts of characters, even the worst sorts, and find room to be generous to them while setting boundaries socially; both are important for the well-rounded education of the whole person, as long as the child is supported and feels safe in whatever school environment is chosen for them.

All in all, I think what I would like to have said to the cashier, is that the great thing about schooling these days is that there are so many options for learning which were not available when we were children. When I was home schooling my children my mother recalled how unhappy I had been in elementary school. "You would have been the perfect candidate for home schooling, Rebecca," she said. "But such a thing did not really exist back then and never entered my head as a possiblilty." Now, with choices, we can give our children the type of education that suits their style of learning and the life of our families.

13 comments:

  1. OH I agree with you...it truly IS a privilege to be able to "pick" the school that is best suited for your child. We have a lovely system at our disposal and I am grateful to have it...but would not hesitate to home school should that be a better option for one or all of my kiddos. A very good post Rebecca.

    Oh, and there are SOOOO many narrow minded souls willing to say what is on their minds aren't there? OY!

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    1. Lovely to hear from you Jill! I'll bet Christmas preparations are in full swing at The Glen.
      I take my children's education one year at a time, and never say never!

      Thanks for your thoughts and best wishes to you and your family!

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  2. Ah Rebecca, you've touched on a topic that will bring out the emotions in so many. As a public school educator I have heard many arguments/discussions regarding the pros and cons of home-schooling. I can think of three examples off the top of my head that are but a sampling of the reasons why people home school. I had a lovely young lady in my grade four class. Her family taught me much about Jehovah's Witness beliefs and practices and I was a much better person for having known this family. At the end of grade four the mother came to see me about the possibility of home-schooling her daughter the following year. "Betty's" older brother had undergone surgery for a brain tumour that year and much of the family's focus had been on supporting him and helping him get healthy. This mom felt that she needed the time with her daughter as she felt like both she and her daughter had missed a lot that year. She did decide to home school that following year and tells me to this day that it was the best year ever with her daughter. They did things together they wouldn't have had time for otherwise, including a daily 5 km walk. Another local family, whose chilren were in high school decided to pull all three kids for the year as they were going to build their own home. I bet those kids learned things building their own home they would never have learned in shool. Aside from the academis they worked together as a family through all sorts of challenges, including the weather! The last family pulled their daughter from school for a year as she had a very difficult time dealing with other students, especially those ones who came to school knowing what a "motherf*&&er" was. She really wasn't ready to deal with all of the behaviors that come with a public school. This girl attended schoo for music, p.e. and field trips. She had a terrific year and came back the following year a much stronger person.

    You hit the nail on the head when you said that education now offers people choices. Why wouldn't they take advantage of that?

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    1. Thanks for sharing all these stories of people putting their children first - very heartwarming. I always sort of envied one homeschooling family I knew whose children could shingle a roof, raise chickens and make their own bread...and they were all very smart. The mother had been home schooled with a distance ed. program one year, when her family spent a year travelling around the South Pacific on a sailboat. It had been the experience of a life time, and she wanted her own children to have a bit of that, too.
      Thanks again Roxanne, and three cheers for 'understanding principals'!

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  3. (shrug) As long as there are reasonable mile markers for the home schooled and the away schooled then what earthly harm.
    The thing is though we end up with people who don't or won't send kids to school because they dislike some aspect like Darwinism. Or worse, schooling girls into a submissive posture.
    Your utilitarian position was just that and you explained so when you wrote 'my intention had always been for my children to "progress" to a school setting'. :-)

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    1. Ah Vince, always the observant one :)
      By progress, I meant move on, but it was time for the kids to join the 'human race' for better or for worse by going to what my eldest called 'a big school'. There are all kinds of learning.

      I know from experience that not all home schooling situations are good ones, but I chose to speak in generalities because my experience was so positive. I was a very motivated teacher, and the kids developed a good work ethic: if they wanted the afternoons to be free for play, they had to get their work done in the morning.

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    2. Here you need to be a graduate of one of the universities before they will allow you to home school.

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  4. As much as we all list the pros and cons of homeschooling, there are numerous exceptions to each individual family/child. I know several families who homeschooled; a few of the children now in college. I call that success. There are others who did not go to college; does that mean that homeschooling was a bad idea for them? If so, then how do we explain the tons of kids in public and private schools who choose not to further their eduction. For any child (homeschooled or not), how do we determine if they were properly educated or if they are able to blend in with people? Do we have a check list once they become adults? Does the person who goes to Harvard have a better life than the one who goes to community college?
    Anyway, I am all for children receiving the best education possible, however, they are all unique and I don't think we can be certain about the road they will end up on as adults "solely" based on how they were educated.

    I'm rushing this very moment - on my way to retrieve one of my little darlings. Hope this made sense. :)

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    1. Back today - less tense. :) I meant to tell your musing was interesting to read and obviously, thought provoking.

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    2. Your comments are very much appreciated as always :) I completely agree that the measures in place in education are not consistent and the idea of 'success' varies greatly. Thanks!

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  5. I came back to this while out shopping today. I asked myself if I had kids would I home school them and I believe I would.
    Our ratios between 4-12 are utterly horrible, they in general are up in the high 20s, sometimes going to 35. Now I'm far from saying I would breed sensitive little flowers I do think there are time when a child requires more attention that can be given with such numbers. And further it is ridiculous to expect it from overworked teachers. There is also the issue of homework. I don't think you can truly aid the educational process if you aren't keeping up with what they are doing.

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    1. I know some parents who think it is entirely the school's job to educate their children. That often does not end well. When my youngest, who was not technically home schooled, was in grade one, I had to read prescribed books with her every night. Now, I had taught three children to read and I used the same methods on her, and she learned quickly. Our schools here advocate parent involvement greatly because they know the teachers cannot possibly do it all when they also have to be dealing with lots of behavioural issues in the classroom, children with special needs, answering to the governments ever increasing 'learning outcomes' demands, as well as trying to teach the kids social responsibility. Having had a grounding in how each of my kids learned, I was able to help them later on, too. That is until they reached the high school math and sciences - I'm so glad they could figure it out on their own by then!
      Good to hear from you again on this topic. Most of the kids who are successful in school are the ones whose parents keep up with what they are doing, as you say.

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  6. ha. there are def those that are adamant that home school is the only way and chastise public school...and those on the other side that say the same of homeschooling and its lack of structure or social stimuli...i think ultimately it has to be up to the parent/child to determine how they learn best and as long as there is accountability in either realm to what essentials should be taught...to each their own...mine are in public school...and even that takes lots of involvement...

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I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thanks!