Warm Thoughts

There comes a time every winter, usually in early March, when I announce to anyone who cares, "I am ready to be warm again." 

I enjoyed a preview of that warmth a couple of weekends ago when my husband and I went to Penticton to see our younger son play in a concert there. Penticton, like much of the Okanagan, is generally drier and warmer this time of year than where we live, and it did not disappoint that weekend. It was so warm that, after the concert, we stood very comfortably outside the theatre talking with our son for a good half hour. It was so warm that in the morning, we went for a walk and had to shed our jackets and scarves, even though there was a light breeze. I felt every muscle in my body relax in the warmth. I turned to my husband at one point and said, "Maybe we should retire here." He responded by drily informing me that Penticton is at least thirty-five degrees celcius most of the summer. "Oh, but it's a dry heat," I scoffed, knowing full well that he was right - I'm not a big fan of thirty-plus temperatures. 

My dad's parents were Snowbirds. They joined thousands of other retired Canadians every winter and went down to the California desert. My Nana suffered with arthritis, and the dry heat made her achy joints feel a whole lot better than they did during the wet winters in her home in South Surrey/Whiterock. My grandparents even bought a home in Rancho Mirage, outside of Palm Springs. When they turned eighty, however, the medical insurance skyrocketed and they decided to sell up and remain in South Surrey each winter. I'm sure it was hard for them to say goodbye to those hot, dry, comfortable winters down south. I wonder if they ever thought of retiring to Penticton. I wish they were around to ask. 

I don't mind winter at all. I don't yet have crippling arthritis or suffer through Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) or anything like that. I don't mind rain, either, as long as it doesn't rain incessently for days and days on end. I like being cozy with fluffy duvets and blankets tucked under my chin while the winter weather rages outside. I like making hot soup and warm biscuits for supper. I enjoy skiing and rambles on a snowy trail. I like the views of the mountains from my windows when the leaves are off the trees. Come late spring, those mountain views are filled in with masses of green growth. I like watching the flames flicker in the fireplace and taking hot baths on a cold night. But, even I, friend of winter, reach my seasonal limit. After months of wearing layers upon layers, walking down the street with my shoulders hunched against the cold, hands thrust in pockets Bob Dylan style, I'm ready to stand tall with my shoulders back, wear a sunhat and flowy dress and reclaim my outdoor comfort!

You know that first day in spring when you feel warm enough to walk down the street in a t-shirt? That is always a moment of bliss for me. The air temperature is neither too hot, nor too cold. That is my sweet spot. I am so looking forward to that moment in spring when I don't have to decide which jacket to wear, but we are not there yet. On this last day of March, the season is still hovering between winter chill and spring thaw. A sunny day still ends in a freezing night. A warm, mild day filled with bird song and blooming flowers can easily Jekyll and Hyde into a raw, frigid morning where the snow line descends on the mountains overnight. 

Spring is definitely happening, though, and for that, I say "Welcome Spring, and thank you for all your many gifts of beauty and cheerfulness, and the hope of many, many warm days to come."

Happy Easter, everyone!

'til next time, 

Rebecca

Walk of Ages

The waning year and I were both feeling our ages

so we took a walk together along the lakeshore

The clouds were heavy with moisture 

 The lake reflected the grey above it

We walked the path toward the hot springs source

in search of the fountain of youth

The trees reminded us with age comes dignity, wisdom and sheltering kindness

 beauty often forgotten in this shiny, hungry, forward leaping world

A pair of cyclists rode past us

none too young themselves, but active

Wildflowers grew among the thorny blackberry

trumpeting out messages of eternal hope and sweetness

A winding waterway, still and placid

fed the lake in a constant, quiet way

lilypads and insects giving life to its surface

Snowberries glowed pearly white in the forest gloom

heavy bunches of perfect orbs bending their fine and supple twigs 

into arcs reaching for rest on the ground

Tipped with autumn red and orange

green leaves waved goodbye in the breeze

A trio of ducks followed the shore 

keeping another woman's retriever and me at bay

The fountain of youth needed a paint job

but her water was promising and sent up clouds of steam into the cool air

Returning, I took the narrower, treelined path. 

Like the trees I leaned toward the water and the light

Rosehips glowed like little round coals in the fire

Tougher and brighter than the roses of summer

they would feed the birds in the cold days to come

The year and I having made our peace with time together

I took myself out for a birthday lunch and went home for a nap

Many thanks to my daughter, Emma, who designed my new blog header. I was ready for something different, and she was eager to use her digital design skills newly aquired at college. 

When the Silver Lining Fades

I tend to subscribe to the idea that Every Cloud has a Silver Lining. I just find it pays to be positive in general. I am not always such a Pollyanna type. I have my dark hours of self-doubt and of disgust with the world, but overall, as I heard someone say in a documentary about the uncertain future of the planet I agree that 'Pessimism is not a strategy." (Not that I am a strategic person. I tend to float along taking opportunities as they present themselves - or not - and going with my instincts.) When unfortunate circumstances arise, I tend to find the upside fairly quickly, as long as the circumstance does not last too, too long.

Take the last couple of weeks of my life as an example. First, my husband caught a cold. I had it three days later, and much worse than he did. It was just a cold, I told myself. I could still read, eat well, sip hot lemon and honey. It wasn't bad at all, really. I got better for two days and my eldest daughter caught the cold. I roasted a chicken, made soup, cleaned a little and caught up on the laundry, glad to be feeling better enough to look after her. Then, my husband came home with a tale of a guest at his hotel who had spent the day vomiting. He was concerned about catching her flu. That night, he came down with stomach flu and I was relieved I could help him out in the middle of the night when his symptoms were at their worst and he fainted in the upstairs hallway. I am not sure if it was the guest's flu or just part two of whatever we had started with, but two days later, I came down with it. I spent three days in and out of bed. I would think I was getting better, only to be up half the night with stomach cramps and spend the next sleeping to recover. Still, I was grateful that my daughter was feeling better and could help with meals, and that my husband had recovered so quickly from his flu and could look after everything else. The silver linings were still within view.

One evening, my eldest daughter, by then well recovered from her cold, asked me how I was feeling."It's only a matter of time," I said.

"Until what?" she asked me, eyebrows furrowed, daring me to be pessimistic about my prognosis.

"Until I feel better."

"Oh," she said, brightening a little as if to say, "That's the mother I approve of." She despises other people's drama, just as I did at her age.

On the ninth day of my on-and-off illness, my husband came home early from work. He came to see me in our bedroom. I admitted to him I was completely miserable and frustrated, and burst into tears. After commiserating with me he went upstairs to see our youngest daughter who had, so far, escaped any version of the flu and was just home from school. I lay in my bed, comfortable, and somewhat relieved after my tiny nervous breakdown, but I still felt plenty sorry for myself. My cache of silver linings was all used up, I thought. I would just have to wait until this misery passed.

A few minutes later my husband returned to our room and poked his head around the door. "There's an email for you," he said.

"I'll read it later," I said, waving the idea of dealing with emails away with a limp hand and reclosing my eyes.

"It's from a movie magazine in Australia. They want to buy some of your photos. The ones you took of the set of Wayward Pines."

I opened my eyes and looked at him. A smile crept into the corners of my mouth. "Really?" No one had ever offered to pay me for any of my creative product before.

"I thought you'd like to know," he said flashing me a little grin and heading back upstairs. Sometimes it is unnerving to be known so well.

I had slept most of the day and suddenly, I felt hungry. I had been subsisting for the past several days on bread and cheese, crackers, apples and yogurt. I asked for a bowl of my homemade granola mixed with yogurt. I ate it all and began to feel slightly stronger. My youngest came down to visit me and I asked if she would like to watch some TV with me in my room. She went upstairs to get a DVD and returned to announce that her dad suggested we all watch it upstairs. I decided it would not kill me to get up and join my family in the living room. I made myself comfortable in my usual chair with a blanket and we watched an episode of the comedic classic Jeeves and Wooster. I would read that email from Australia later. For now, it was enough to know it was there waiting for me. Just when I thought the silver linings had deserted me, one had shown up gleaming and, even if it came to nothing, was giving me hope for the moment.

My husband made a light supper. I ate it and felt stronger still. The next day I read that email from Australia. It even seemed legitimate.