February 4, 2012

Tomorrow is Another Day, Thankfully.




So it was Groundhog Day here on Thursday. I don't put much faith in the shadow of a rodent to predict the length of winter, but I do like an excuse for my annual viewing of the only film I know of with 'Groundhog Day' as both its theme and its title. Our one and only movie channel was showing the film that night which stars the beautiful Andie McDowell and one of my favourite funny-men of all time, Bill Murray, so I hunkered down last night, after the kitchen was tidied, to watch it.

I had had a tough day. The kind of day that makes you so world weary you want to crawl down below the earth into Mole's hole and stay there in front of the glowing fire for a good long while. Since Mole and I are not on quite those familiar terms, apart from in my imagination, I had to settle instead for an evening in front of the glowing television. The TV is capable of supplying its own kind of tonic, however, and Groundhog Day ended up being exactly what the proverbial doctor ordered.

In the film, Bill Murray plays Pittsburgh TV weather man, Phil Connors, who is reluctantly sent to cover a story in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania about a weather forecasting groundhog. This is his fourth year on the story, and he makes no effort to hide his frustration. After he and his crew, the lovely and kind producer Rita and the amiably goofy cameraman Larry, are prevented from leaving Punxsutawney due to the weather they must stay the night. On awaking the 'following' day in his bed and breakfast Phil discovers that it's Groundhog Day again, and again, and again. He is the only person in the town who is aware of the day being the same again and again; everyone else believes it is February 2nd for the first time. First he uses this to his advantage, then comes to the realisation that he is doomed to spend the rest of eternity in the same place, seeing the same people do the same thing every single day. I don't want to give away too much of the story, but suffice it to say, Phil will go on living the same day until he gets it right. Finally, he wakes up on February 3rd a changed man, but it has taken months or years of tries (we never know how long it has really been) to live Groundhog Day in a way that allows him to escape his massive time trap and carry on with his life. The film manages to tell its cautionary tale with intelligence, great warmth, and the caustic wit of the inimitable Bill Murray.

When I woke up to my alarm clock yesterday, February 3rd, it was not playing 'I've Got You Babe' like the clock in the film, but it was playing, just as it was on Groundhog Day when the digits read 6:30, Leonard Cohen's 'Hallelujah'. The coincidence was a bit staggering and I woke up quickly. Was I also to be doomed to live the same day again? No, of course not, but the idea of it made me think...

For the past few months, I've been getting up in the morning, and after making sure my youngest is ready for school I fire up the computer, check my email and log into Facebook. Facebook has its up side: funny photos of cats in impossible poses, posts by my family members inviting me into their day, a comment or two on my own sharings, links to new music or video, invitations to events, etc. Facebook also has its down side. For each person this downside is different. Maybe it involves gossip or slander involving a friend, or those all too common photos of mistreated animals or a starving child paired with a photo of someone with an iphone, or even insults to one's ideology. I know very well that most people on Facebook do not intend to hurt their Facebook contacts. However, there is a great deal of indiscriminate leaping onto various bandwagons from which are flung various declarations and images which, when they hit the innocent (and dare I say it, sensitive) bystander, can be as a dart to the heart. A couple of these darts hit me on Thursday, and although I tried not to take them as personal attacks, I could not help the wounds they most certainly inflicted. I limped around with them all day long.

I came to realize, as the day progressed, that Facebook had somehow become my own personal version of Groundhog Day. Every day I got up, got on, and experienced the same type of highs, the same type of lows, but what I didn't realize was how my habitual ride on this emotional teeter-totter was affecting me. By Thursday, I suppose I had reached my saturation point. I felt dizzy and overwhelmed, and in order to move on I had to make a decision about my relationship with that form of social media. In order to regain perpective I have decided to go on a Facebook fast. As someone wise said, "Fasting is not about denial but about freedom...freeing ourselves from the things that bind us and keep us from good relationships with ourselves, with others, and with creation."

Here's to the freedom of a brand new day.

And here's Leonard Cohen's 'Hallelujah' performed by John Cale.


15 comments:

  1. 'roller coaster' does not begin to describe the range of emotions i endure every single day via facebook and other social networking sites.
    thank you for reminding me that i AM in control and i can wake up to a new routine in the morning... surely those that miss me will find me - in a much happier place. Hallelujah indeed!

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  2. I've not succumbed to Facebook yet and I get so peeved that everyone expects you be be on Facebook or Twitter - even prospective employers!

    I think the 'fast' idea sounds like a good un. You've got to preserve your sanity somehow.

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  3. E.P: So I'm not the only one...hooray! Yes, sometimes we have to take back control.

    Al: I know. It's expected that the whole world will be available that way. My husband has no intention of joining either.

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  4. Good for you! I know some who I fear are seriously addicted to facebook. I've been tempted to just delete my account, but then I do like the ease of staying in touch with some people (and also be able to keep track of my kids' facebooks!), so I have an account but use it sparingly.

    This was a wonderfully introspective post. I love that you awoke to "Hallelujah" - one of my faves!

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    1. Hi Abby: I won't be deleting my account either. I think I just needed to take a break for a while. I went on in the first place because my eldest son wanted an account and I said only if I got one too and could 'friend' him. I do enjoy the interaction on FB, but I just OD'd!

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  5. It is terrible how quickly facebook creeps into your daily routine if you let it. I love the contact with friends and family across the seas, and the peeks I get into their lives through their photos and status updates, but I am careful about what else I look at. Just because people post links and articles doesn't mean I need to read them. Overall my experience has been positive!

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    1. I used to be much more selective, but as I allowed FB more and more time, I began to take it all much too seriously and give it too much power in my life. When I come back to it, it will be return to being positive, I'm sure.

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  6. Facebook works the same as a slot machine. You keep going back for the hit of the little red square in the top corner. And like with a slot it's not the content of the payout but the line of three cherries or the little red box with the number in it.
    And really can you say 'friends' with 275 photographs.
    As to the film, McDowell came across as a prissy little witch with serious control freak issues; far to well acted for her. Leaving one with the conclusion that it very near real life.
    What I don't get about this type of film. Just why is it OK for a woman to school a man with a none to subtle punishment and reward system like he is a dog in dire need of training, when the reverse would be seen for what it is, abuse.
    Now my friend, don't ever ever ever allow what happens on the computer enter your mind all that deeply. I treat it the same way as a novel or a Doc-u-drama. If you do it will be like you just returned to high school hell. There are more than enough idiots on here that will get their jollies from ripping you down. And there are far too many opportunities to err yourself when you comment to worry overmuch about that aspect either, simply you don't know what nerve your plucking. For Gods sake if you don't fully know yet -and you don't by the way- every little mind niggle of you mate how can you be expected to know with some stranger on-line.
    All I'll say is don't worry about it, if your intent is OK and someone takes offense then fine, that's their pathology.
    And Yanks are too too weird ;-)

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    1. Vince: I very much like your slot machine analogy, although crack-cocaine also works as an analogy ;) I was talking to a friend today about it as well. She said we get addicted to it because we are social creatures and crave interaction; however, Facebook interaction can never be more than superficial, so we have to be careful not to give it any more importance than it is worthy of. The weird thing that started this is that, after I had made a pact with myself never to argue over FB, I found myself doing just that with a girl and a guy that I barely remember from high school, and really worrying over it. When I woke up to that fact I decided to just take a break. I like FB for keeping in touch with actual friends and my big family, so perhaps, when I come back to it, I need to do a contacts cull like my kids do every once in a while. Thanks for your supportive, thoughtful comments. My 'mate' as you call him, enjoys your input as well, you know. He sometimes reads your posts, too.
      As far as the film, well, being a woman, I suppose I only see the Andie McDowell character as being 'one of us', but I can try and understand your point of view :) It's not the first time she's played a woman with great demands of the male sex! Oh well, I do love Bill Murray and he succeeds in distracting me from any other possible faults in the film.
      I hope you have a great week, my friend, and thanks again.

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  7. Rebecca, your emotions are so evident in all of your writing, as it is in this piece. I haven't experienced too much negativity on FB but I know that things I have posted have been taken in the wrong veing by my own friends and relatives and they have felt hurt although that was certainly never my intent. Always a good reminder to choose your words carefully! You're a wise woman to both recognize and remedy the things that suck the joy out of your life! Kudos to you! Stay well!

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  8. I'm sorry you had the bad day, but happy that it was fixed by watching a movie and relaxing; and especially, that you've had some revelations that stemed from the movie and from your fb experience.

    One of my mottos: Do what you have to do. If that means fasting fb, so be it. It'll still be there when you decide to return.

    Why deal with misery or discomfort when you don't have to.

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  9. i feel you on this...i got off of facebook 13 months ago...and i really dont miss it...far too many people in my business on there honestly...and as you say in my face with different things....enjoy that freedom...smiles.

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  10. Anita: Exactly :)

    Brian: My second son was on FB for only a few months. That was enough for him. My other kids seem hardwired knowing how to put technology in its place - how to separate the personal from the impersonal. They're quite inspiring, now that I think of it!

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  11. How interesting. People talk alot about FB ruining their lives, or bringing them down, or wasting their time, or stealing their data. For me, it is contact with the outside world. As a mom with three small kids and homeschooling, I don't get out that much. Facebook allows me to be encouraged and encourage my mom-friends who are similarly situated. But, I'm with Anita...do what you gotta do. Just don't stop blogging.

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    1. Tracey: When I sat down with FB and suggested we take a break and 'see other people', I assured him that it wasn't 'him' it was me. I needed to go off somewhere and find myself. Except on Sundays. (so glad you are back, though!)
      Stop blogging? Never!

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