Swimming Lessons

My mother was a strong swimmer. She had been a lifeguard when she was a teenager and insisted all her children take swimming lessons, especially since we lived in a town with a lake at its center.

I was the youngest of her children and a disappointment when it came to swimming lessons. I never passed a single session because I could neither float nor swim on my back. But, I could swim well enough to enjoy the refreshing water in our local outdoor pools and lakes in summer, and not drown. The swimming instructors kept putting me in the next levels simply because I was too old to swim with the little kids.

When I was in Grade Five, our town built an indoor swimming pool with a gym, sauna, and hot tub. The Nelson and District Aquatic Center soon became a major hang out spot for my friends and I. Two of my friends even went on to win gold in the Provincial Synchronized Swimming championships. Alas, not I. My skills never extended past the basics, but I did learn to love swimming for swimming’s sake.

Grade Seven was an awkward and trying year for me. I retreated to the aquatic center regularly for some ‘swim therapy’. I had at last learnt by then to swim on my back and I backstroked my way up and down the swimming lanes, counting ceiling tiles as I went. I knew how many tiles meant it was time to turn over and watch for the edge of the pool. I would swim, forty, fifty lengths on a Saturday afternoon, alternating between the breaststroke and backstroke, not fast, just smoothly, achieving a zen-like headspace that made my twelve-year-old troubles melt like lifesavers on the tongue.

I still enjoy a dip in the lake or pool these days, but I achieve my zen-like desired state through running. Again, not fast, but smoothly gaining ground with my rhythmic plodding. I often look back on my lane swimming days with fondness and empathy for my twelve year old self. I didn’t recognize those days as therapy at the time, but I now know how to name and describe the mental and physical health benefits of exercise.

 As the little fish Dory from the Disney film, Finding Nemo says, “Just keep swimming!” whether you take that literally or metaphorically.

'til next time, 

Rebecca

Some Thoughts on Beauty

I recently saw a video on Instagram of a young, posh-sounding British woman voicing her opinion on how Kate, Princess of Wales manages to look so good in all her photos and videos. The young woman explained that Kate keeps her chin level at all times and does not look up or down. "So that's the secret, girls. Let me know how you get on." she said, and then the video was over. I have been thinking a lot about our fixation with how people look for a while now, but this video kind of gelled my thinking about it. First of all, I thought, who needs to look as good as Kate does in the public eye? Very few people. Second, why can't she be depicted as a normal human with a variety of normal facial expressions and angles like the rest of us? Why is that not allowed? Thirdly, why does appearance matter so very much when there is so much more to a person? 

Princess Kate is a natural beauty. She will look good in photos, no matter what she does, but that is also her job, if you can call it that. She represents British fashion and Western ideals and she does the job impeccably. They don't call her 'Porcelain Kate' for nothing. It would be fun to see photos of her chewing her food or picking her nose on occasion, but that is not going to happen. She is too well trained, and photographers probably have a deal with the Crown not to publish any unflattering photos of her. I want to say to all the young women out there, trying to emulate Kate and other public figures because they believe somehow if they look like these people, they will become these people, you don't have to! As my dear friend says, 'Make your own fairy tale' - by living your precious life as it was meant to be. That is when the authentic beauty of you shines through. I know what I am talking about. I spent my teen years obsessed with fashion and my looks. My bedroom wall was a collage of Vogue magazine photos. I had a secret hankering to marry into royalty or fame. Supise, suprise, I married a normal guy and have a fairly normal life, and I am loved and happy. Who knew?

Most of us live very average lives without cameras pointed at us (unless we are obsessed with documenting ourselves constantly).  We get up in the morning, go to work or school, raise children and look after pets if we have them, drive here and there, cook dinner, get some exercise, go to bed. Unless we are paid models, we don't need to look gorgeous living our lives. We already are gorgeous for contributing what we are to the world and looking after things in our little corner. No one pays me to look great while I peel a butternut squash or sit typing at my laptop, so why would I worry about how I look all day, ever day? But that is what media tells us to worry about. We're flogged with anti-aging serums, diet hacks, wardrobe dos and don'ts. In response I want to shout, 'I'm not an actress! Looking perfect for a role is not in my job description!" I am not saying we should not look presentable. I personally draw the line at wearing pajamas in public and I wash my hair every day. If work requires a uniform or a dress code, we abide by it. Looking presentable and looking runway or film-ready are two very different things in my view. I do enjoy dressing up on occasion, putting on a little makeup and jewelry, taking some extra care with my hair, but those times are rare these days. A sweater and jeans is my standard winter outfit. When I do dress up, my husband usually says, "Oh! You look nice." I like maintaining a level of surprise in our marriage.  

The hilarious British actress, Miriam Margoyles, is not a standard Western beauty. I saw a program where she went to the U.S. and underwent a makeover. When the makeup artists and hairstylists showed Miriam her new look in the mirror she balked. "That's not ME! she cried. I liked myself before. You Americans focus way too much on appearances." I don't think Americans are the only ones, but Miriam has a point. Our society does focus and fixate on appearances far too much. I know many women and men who are not catalogue versions of beauty, but they are such wonderful, talented, intelligent, curious, and funny people that their own brand of beauty knocks my socks off. Miriam is one of those gems. I don't know her personally, of course, but I, and millions of others, admire her all the same. Would she have made it in Hollywood, though, where the standard for female beauty is more prescribed? I really do not know. 

Miriam captured eating ice cream. Relatable.

In an age when social media filters edit our 'imperfections' I see many young people calling foul. I find that so refreshing. I would like to see more young people rise up and debunk the myths around beauty.  More people of my age and generation, too, because we're worth it! (See what I did there?)